Viewers of The Late Present hoping to catch Stephen Colbert mock the Republican Nationwide Conventions speeches given by Vice President Mike Pence and White Home senior staffer Kellyanne Conway on Wednesday evening have been thrown a curveball. On the high of his reside broadcast following evening three of the conference, Colbert admitted he “did not watch any of it.”
“Because right now in America, we’re facing a global pandemic that has killed 180,000 Americans, heavily armed Rambo wannabes are murdering people in our streets, the strongest hurricane in the history of the Gulf Coast is making landfall as I speak, and the RNC’s message is: Who’s up for four more years?” Colbert mentioned throughout his monologue.
“Now I know by not watching the RNC I didn’t do my job tonight, and I just want to say: I feel great about it,” the host added. “Why should we pay attention to what they’re saying if none of what they’re saying tonight is about what’s happening in America right now? Why should we watch their reality show if it doesn’t reflect our reality? Why subject ourselves to their lies that stick to your soul like hot tar? Lies like: Donald Trump cares whether you live or die.”
As an instance his level, Colbert introduced up the coronavirus pandemic. Within the hours earlier than the Republican conference on Wednesday, each the New York Occasions and CNN reported that the Facilities for Illness Management had reversed its coronavirus testing tips to say folks with out COVID-19 signs may not should be examined for the illness. That call, CNN reported, got here after the CDC obtained stress “from the top down” to vary the protocol.
“That is surprising, because we have been repeatedly warned that 40 percent of infections are asymptomatic, and 50 percent of transmissions occur before the symptoms,” Colbert mentioned. “Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away. If it did, why are there still Valpak coupons?”
“Who on Earth thinks not testing is a good idea?” Colbert requested, earlier than enjoying a clip of President Trump saying on July 14, “If we did half the testing, we would have half the cases.”
“Of course. It’s always the only person you suspect,” the host joked. “So, we’ve reached the point where Donald Trump is dictating our health regulations. That’s why the new suggested serving for chicken is ‘bucket.’”
He then immediately addressed the CDC with anger in his voice. “Hey, CDC, this is our lives,” Colbert mentioned loudly. “Either grow a pair and stand up to this clown or at least be honest and change the Hippocratic oath to, ‘First do no harm, unless it makes the president look bad. In that case, bag ‘em and tag ‘em.’”
He continued, “Once again, we are watching a basic function of our government that has always been apolitical die in front of our eyes. We are one news cycle away from the CDC warning that mail-in ballots will give you chlamydia.”
However Colbert mentioned he had another excuse for not watching the Republican Nationwide Conference on Wednesday. “I know what’s going to happen because they revealed the monster on the first night, and it’s them,” he supplied. “A multiheaded spineless creature that lives on your fear.”